PASS THE PEPTO
By Rex O’Rourke
THE BRONX, N.Y. – 1:15 am – My brain hurts, my stomach aches, basically what I’m saying is that the Yankees/Angels series is making me sick. In another Yankee Stadium slash New Yankee Stadium classic, The Bronx Bombers prevailed 4-3 in what seemed like 47 innings. To alter the mojo, I changed seats, stood, paced, took my pants off, drank my iced tea left handed, switched couches, put my pants back on, grabbed Yogi (my cat) for luck, then quickly shooed him away after the first of Cano’s two errors, turned my tee shirt inside out, grabbed Scooter, (my other cat) proving luckless again, rocked back and forth, and did everything short of turning the sound off on the TV (silent watching was first used in the 1977 ALCS game five and I’m 3-0 lifetime when hitting the mute button, but I only use it in the most dire of situations) to get that one clutch hit, strikeout, call… anything!
This game had everything; great defense, bad defense, rain, cold, an extra inning comeback, clutch pitching, a controversial call, and ultimately, pie, sweet tasty pie! And make no mistake, if the Yankees lose this game they lose the series, I’m convinced of that. Now the Halos have to take four out of five, which is fine when you’re surveying dentists, but a tall order against this particular Yankee squad.
I’d love game three to be a laugher, a 10-2 drubbing, so I could ease up on the Maalox, but you just know it’s going to be another nail biter. The Angels just never make it easy for you. Even with as poorly as they played in game one, they were never out of it. I’d much rather watch Charlie’s Angels than play Arte’s Angels.
Switching gears to The NFL, at a torrid 13-2 against the spread, I’m due; check that, way overdue, for a 1-2 or 0-3 week. This week’s article was going to be on the odds makers and how uncannily good they are at setting the line but the ALCS was the story. Anyway, without further ado, here are the picks.
How can a team that just lost 41-0 be a 9.5 point favorite? The answer? They’re playing St. Louis. Take The JAGUARS (-9.5) over The Rams. I like The FALCONS (-3.5) over The Bears and The Lions, that’s right, The Lions (+13.5) over The PACKERS. I also LOVE The Dodgers in game three.
Until next week,
Rex
Tags: Arte Moreno, Charlie's Angels, Phil Rizzuto, Robinson Cano, The Atlanta Falcons, The Chicago Bears, The Detroit Lions, The Green Bay Packers, The Jacksonville Jaguars, The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, The Los Angeles Dodgers, The New York Yankees, The St. Louis Rams, Yogi Berra
October 18th, 2009 at
Ugh. Why do opponents suddenly become unable to play sound fundamental ball against the Yanks? Also when did Tori Hunter and Vlad become such choke artists? One singe in 8 different at bats by these guys during game two and the Angels win. Double Ugh.
October 18th, 2009 at
I am still wiped out from last night! Looking forward to Giants/’Aints today so I can relax a little! Rex - love your cats’ names!! Scooter was my personal all-time favorite Yankee. Grote - lighten up, Francis.
October 18th, 2009 at
On a completely nonrelated sidenote, can the press PLEASE stop giving the balloon boy’s family all the attention these mediawhores clearly crave? I want Yankee recaps on tv this morning and all they’re covering is THIS?!?!!?
October 18th, 2009 at
St. Louis Rams??? Jaguars??? Did I miss something?
October 18th, 2009 at
All I ask is that A-Rod isn’t the MVP of the post-season. That’s all. And that the Jets don’t be typical Jets and lose to Buffalo some how.
October 18th, 2009 at
Mrs. Matt… Yankee fan??? How does that work?
Roberto… Don’t worry, Dave Robertson is going to be the Yankees MVP.
October 18th, 2009 at
the yankees are not going to lose a game which will make the off season suck more for us met fans. robertogonzo, the jets will win but it will be ugly.
October 18th, 2009 at
Vinny, I took the under hoping for a sloppy game as well as MN & Carolina.
That game last night was painful to watch..Rex, I didn’t mute the idiots I listened to the game on Spanish broadcast !
Jaclyn Smith….that made the day better already!
Grote…any chance The Lambs will score more than 10 points this week?
Balloon Boy will go for on and on Mrs. Matt….sorta like last nights game.
October 18th, 2009 at
balloon boy must die… worst thing i saw last night: the d-bag fans holding a sign reading we want pie, so f-ing gay. and to continue last night’s thread dechone still rhymes with joan. torii definitely rhymes with whoary, i think we can all agree on that. one other observation: when did the yankees start allowing unshaven scruffy looking players? half the team is now sporting five o’clock shadow… what’s up with that?
October 18th, 2009 at
ch–like in chandelier so if you say it aloud it’s like saying shown.
I say sausage like saw-sage but most people in CA say Soh-sage—this still annoys me to no end! Just fyi
Whoary..is that even a real word? Does rhyme nicely though.
I think it’s more like balloon boy’s dad is a nutcase.
More importantly–it’s pouring and the deli is across the street—how do I get my Sunday morning rolls?Grrrrrrrrrrr
October 18th, 2009 at
I was wondering how many die-hards stayed up for that, though I knew you could do it Rex. I had a hard time and I’m three hours behind. Muting Tim McCarver and Joe Buck is never bad luck. I’ve been a McCarver hater for a long time, and he still comes up with new ways to annoy me. I think Robinson Cano and his head gator is in the new Ninja Assassin movie.
October 18th, 2009 at
I put that up on yesterday’s post.. but Dude spelled it incorrectly. It’s ‘Whorey.’ Rhymes with Torii and describes most women’s Halloween costumes. It’s a word.
Grote.. of course we’d blame it on ‘fundamentals lacking.’ Errors.. shmerrors. Part of being a good team is knowing how to play under any circumstances.. and that includes cold that numbs the brain and the hands (which is what happened to the Angels in these first two games.) I am sure if Swisher dropped a fly… you’d have no shortage of words about him. And I am guessing you’re fine with Abreu now that he’s not a Yankee.
I really don’t want to picture whatever goes on in the boudoir between Kate and A-Rod… but all I can say is i REALLY like it. She has FINALLY shown she has talent. A-Plus!
Diffrn’t Matt.. .a Yankees/Mets union works much better than a Yankees/Sox (or Mets/Phillies) union. That’d be a deal breaker for me.
Dude.. I am pretty sure that The Boss’ vision is so poor that he can’t discern the players who have 5 o’clock shadows. I am also sure that Nick Swisher shaves just before the game and by the bottom of the 2nd.. he’s got a shadow.
October 18th, 2009 at
by the way… i think Costo has Maalox and Tums in bulk. Stock up Rex. Love the post by the way.
WCC… muting Tim McCarver and Joe Buck is an excellent idea. They are sucking the life out of me.. one inning at a time. It’s painful.
October 18th, 2009 at
Yes the facial hair is a little excessive but nothing new or recent. Munson was scruffy, so was Clemens, and Mattingly had a mullet. Whatever Kate Hudson’s doing, it’s her best role since Penny Lane in “Almost Famous”. Keep it… err… up, Kate!. I don’t usuually like Joe Buck, but his advice to kids to use four hands on pop-ups when A-Rod and Mo met on that bunt was priceless. Was Luis Castillo watching?
October 18th, 2009 at
you get me wrong rex, i think ballplayers should look however they want. but the yanks have always had rules about players being clean cut and clean shaven… this is why reggie shaved his beard when he came here, and damon had to get his hair cut, and of course we all remember the gumby drama with his abandoning his samson look, goatee and sideburns… but the exceptions you point out are interesting, munson was scruffy and mattingly sort of had a mullett, but it wasnt like randy johnson’s– who also trimmed it when he joined the yanks…. but now the exception seems to be the rule… that joe buck joke about four hands was really not that funny and mccarver’s continued chuckle about it was even worse. that pair is only slightly less annoying than sterling and waldman. can’t they hire vin scully or something?
October 18th, 2009 at
Yeah very exciting watching the Yankees get 2 wins handed to them Rex? I’d rather watch your fat cat take a shit.
October 18th, 2009 at
Mmmmm…MtM censor must be down.
Like I said….switch to the Spanish telecast.
I think if Munson shaved every inning he’d have still looked scruffy.
October 18th, 2009 at
Late night playoffs and games in the cold are killing baseballs fan base.
What kid is going to stay up past 12, 1 on the East Coast, to watch a baseball game? You ask the young uns’, and they never see the playoffs, becasue they just go too damn late. We have an entire generation that does not get to watch the best ball, and they wonder why the game is skewing towards an older demographic…were the only ones who can stay up to watch it.
It’s even worse during the weekdays. Doesn’t MLB figure out that those lucky enough to have jobs in this economy have to actually attend them in the morning. My 20 something buds just don’t watch the games, as they have to get their butts into the grind in the AM. MLB shuld start the games at 6 on weekdays. That way, if you have to miss a bit, it;s the first few innings. The current format has one seeing the begining and missing the end, unless they are a baseball fanatic, a feverish fan of one of the teams involved, or have sleep apnea and can’t sleep anyways.
And on the weekend, start the games in the afternoon. That way the players and fans don’t freeze, and the game can be played as it was meant to, not with freezing fingers trying to hold a baseball, cold hands on the bat, etc. The game is meant to be played in above freezing temps (the boys of summer and all that), leave the cold and rain to football (the proper, American type) and rugby. Besides, baseball just LOOKS better in the sunlight of a fall afternoon.
Speaking of football, Iowa of all people is leading the big 10. Texas comes up big against OK, Florida survives, Pitt and UConn are looking like the best of the East (UConn, who da thunk’) and TCU and Boise State continue their quest for BCS recognition. Interesting to see whose side God is on next week when the Mormons of BYU take on the Christians of TCU in a top 20 clash of Mountain West teams. I’m going with TCU since their version of piety does not ban alcohol, which I consider a basic building block for social interactions and the continuance of the species (given the high percentage of relationships and the offspring of such that were lubricated with some form of alcohol). Go Frogs.
October 18th, 2009 at
eddiz–always go with the No Cokes!
October 18th, 2009 at
Eddiz, I agree about the playoffs being on way too late, but I don’t know what’s worse? A 4pm playoff on Monday??? For the record, Lil Matt stayed up with me until 12:15, then passed out, but - hey - I tried!
Cookie - well put about Yanks/Mets vs Yanks/Sox. There is no red in this house - at least we both bleed blue.
Clancy - did you get your rolls?
October 18th, 2009 at
Well….I waited until the evil rain eased up then put on my coat, grabbed my umbrella and headed across the street.Q53 Bus almost splashed me but I deftly avoided it. Raced inside and grabbed the newspaper. I decided I deserved better and ordered a breakfast sandwich w/bacon,egg and cheese but without the egg and cheese and with mayo on a poppy seeded roll.
I safely made it home and thoroughly enjoyed it with a nice cup of French Roast coffee. Then my Vikings won (didn’t cover the spread–grrrr) so all is good in the world of jgclancy.
October 18th, 2009 at
I had Jaclyn Smith.
October 18th, 2009 at
Yeah how exciting for you Yankee fans. You sign the top three free agents in the off season to an already stacked All Star team including AROd with the richest contract in baseball. Imagine - 30 teams in baseball an ONE of them gets the top 3 guys. Pat yerselves on the back Yankee Nation. Be so very proud.
October 20th, 2009 at
Rex first of all, I will be submitting my football picks on this site also. We will see who is the real expert!!!!! I love the Seifeld scooter key chain. I would love to get my hands on one. I love Tim Mc Carver because I know that all mut fans hate him. Lets go Yanks, after a tough one in game 3 it’s CC out their tonight to take a commanding 3-1 lead. BRING ON THE PHILLIES. Who will the mut fans be rooting for, or do they not even pay attention to baseball when they have no one to root against!!!!