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« SO IT’S COME TO THIS
ANGRY WARD WEDNESDAY: BRETT IT BE »

TELL IT LIKE IT IS TUESDAY: A NICE LITTLE GAME WHERE ANYTHING’S POSSIBLE

by Philview and the Phanatic

CHASKA, MINNESOTA - With a little more than a quarter of the season to go, the Mets faithful are now faced with an undeniable truth - the Metropolitans, by all accounts, are all but mathematically eliminated.

In a summer that is flying by faster than an inadvertent visit to a alternative lifestyle biker bar, the team picked last March to win the World Series (by Sports Illustrated) has been deeply and irrevocably buried by injuries, lackluster play, more injuries, poor team management, and then even more injuries.

Back in April, the Mets took the field with guys named Reyes, Wright, Delgado, and Beltran in the lineup. This past Sunday, those names were conspicuously absent. Except for Wright, the rest have been MIA for weeks, even months, and the DL for the whole team has, over time, piled higher than Bill Clinton’s denials.

Many questions remain:

  • Will Jose Reyes ever be the player that everyone expects him to be?
  • Will Carlos Delgado win his ongoing battle with the clock?
  • Will Castillo use two hands next time?
  • Will Johan Santana demand a trade?
  • And finally, how long before sportswriters stop referring to eight-homer David Wright as a “slugger?”

    • But these are next year’s mysteries. For today then, let’s chat about another intriguing sports topic. Something current. How about something a tad surprising? How’s about a little golf game that took place this past weekend?

    The reason the topic of golf is surprising is because we here at MTM Central have given our opinion about golf as a major sport before - and it wasn’t positive. We love golf, and we play golf, but feel, quite strongly, that golf should never be considered a major competitive sport until the player teeing off is surrounded by an offensive line (and must get his shot off before the pocket breaks down); or, until forechecking is allowed during putts. Until then, it’s just a “nice little game.”

    That said, late last Thursday I received an e-mail from a friend who wrote simply, “Tiger Woods leads by a stroke after the first round. In other words, it’s OVER!”

    I thought that was funny, especially since we both believed it to be completely true. And the scene played out accordingly. By Sunday morning, Woods was teeing off with a lead. Ho-hum. Then, despite a charge by Y.E. Yang, the fact remained that Woods still had a lead on the final back nine of a major tournament. Again, no problem - we were sure Woods was merely toying with his spunky counterpart; giving the little fella and his interpreter some air time; you know, for the relatives back home. How nice of Tiger.

      “Then, the inconceivable happened - he lost. Tiger Woods lost.”

    Yes, the greatest player of this generation - a player who routinely makes all the other top players on the tour shake with fear like puppies during a Michael Vick promotional visit, had, for him, a case of the nerves. He missed short putts that mere mortals can make. This golf genius, one who never loses when its time to close the deal… Did - beaten by an unlikely opponent who didn’t start playing until he was 19; a small, gutsy South Korean who could and will be played to perfection in a movie of his life by Gedde Watanabe - the actor who, as “Long Duk Dong” in Sixteen Candles, gave us the immortal line “no more yankie my wankie!”

    Somewhere, in the clouds above, there is a God of Upsets; a mythical being that similarly tapped Buster Douglas, the 1980 USA Hockey Team, the Namath Jets, the Seaver Mets, and in 1919, a horse named “Upset.” And he is laughing, uproariously, for this was one of his masterpieces.

    Before we leave you for now, we’d like to point out that while this weekend’s results don’t change our overall stance on golf as a “major sport,” it does make us feel real good. For in this age of overgrown athletes, anyone has a chance to win a major golf tournament - a 45-year-old tour vet who’s never won a thing (many times); a 59-year-old legend (just a month ago); and finally, even a Y.E. Dong, I mean Yang. And darn if old Long Duk didn’t pull it off.

    Great for him. Let’s face it, guys who say “no more yankie my wankie” can’t dunk a basketball, and they almost never win Super Bowls.

    In golf, anything’s possible.

    And that’s a good thing…. Angry Ward tomorrow.

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    This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 18th, 2009 and is filed under The Phanatic & Philview. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

    17 Responses to “TELL IT LIKE IT IS TUESDAY: A NICE LITTLE GAME WHERE ANYTHING’S POSSIBLE”

    1. ChibaLotteAkita Says:
      August 18th, 2009 at

      It was a very well played match by Yang despite your making fun of his name.

    2. RickyPinetar Says:
      August 18th, 2009 at

      Tiger Woods is now like the Yankees and the Cowboys. You either love him or want him to lose every hole. I happen to like him but liked seeing him get knocked off by this guy.

    3. Angry Ward Says:
      August 18th, 2009 at

      “Hey Yang don’t tell ‘em you’re Jewish ok?”

      Leave it to the Philly guys to bring up “Sixteen Candles” on Tell it Like it is Tuesday and then I lead with a “Caddyshack” line. But, back to Long Duk Dong, did we even touch upon the fact here that John Hughes dropped dead in New York a couple of weeks back? Surely we could have worked it in w/a sports angle. I mean, one of the places Ferris Bueller went on his day off was to a Cubs game. And Dong and his new lady friend were clearly exercise enthusiasts as they showed on that stationary bike.

    4. Cookie Says:
      August 18th, 2009 at

      Golf.. still boring after all these years.. watching it that is. Playing it is another story.

      The answer to most of those questions you asked is ‘No.’ However Johan will demand a trade or some Zoloft. It’s a toss up.

      Ward is right about John Hughes. ‘Now we’re both on the pill.’

    5. West Coast Craig Says:
      August 18th, 2009 at

      Thanks for picking me up after my Worst Post Ever yesterday. It was like a greasy pork sandwich served up in a dirty ashtray.

    6. The Greatest Living MTM Poster of All Time "The Temple" Says:
      August 18th, 2009 at

      Rick…Are you a Cowgirls fan? Grouping the Cowgirls with Yankees and Tiger Woods is a stretch. They had 3 dominant years in the 90s and were one of the top 5 teams in the 70s.

      The Yankees (as much as i hate to say it) have 26 WS in 100 years and Woods is on pace to smash all of golf’s records.

    7. Grote2Dmax Says:
      August 18th, 2009 at

      I felt bad for Paddy Harrington - blowing up again on one hole. The leaderboard for the longest time looked like the setup for a tasteless joke - “an asian guy and an irish guy are chasing a black guy on a golf course…”

    8. Randy Levine Says:
      August 18th, 2009 at

      That’s one lucky black guy.

    9. jgclancy Says:
      August 18th, 2009 at

      Oh yeah…My A’s with the shutout…..sweet.
      Alas, I think I heard the sound of Favre unretiring again….Grrrrrrrr
      Loved Tiger not winning even though i like Tiger.
      Lunch today was a Five Guys Burger & Fries burger to compare to my P & K burger tonight..as long as they have Blue Moon!
      Off I go and await the second A’s victory tonight or tomorrow….either way it’s good :)

    10. Cookie Says:
      August 18th, 2009 at

      Brett Favre a Viking. Can I say ‘I told you so?’ now?? OK.. I won’t say it… i feel bad for my Viking fan friends.

      Speaking of… want the prediction for what Angry Ward’s column is tomorrow? Like shooting fish in a barrel it is.

    11. Cookie Says:
      August 18th, 2009 at

      And i just watched Cris Carter’s rant on this. Someone needs to tell him the word he was looking for was ‘chutzpah,’ not ‘meshugeneh.’

    12. The Greatest Living MTM Poster of All Time "The Temple" Says:
      August 18th, 2009 at

      Farve will be a top 5 QB as a Viking!!! You heard it here first.

    13. Grote2Dmax Says:
      August 18th, 2009 at

      I thought the next time I’d see Favre he’d be kissing Suzy Kolber on the sidelines.

    14. vinny from brooklyn Says:
      August 18th, 2009 at

      whats with jet qbs today? you guys put up namath and then favre comes back with no picks or anything for the jets. being a jet and met fan is tough

    15. RickyPinetar Says:
      August 18th, 2009 at

      The Greatest Living MTM Poster of All Time “The Temple” - not a Cowboys fan. I am a Dolphins fan first and Skins fan second. Mother and father were Miami and D.C. bred.

    16. Nick C Says:
      August 18th, 2009 at

      Brett Favre is a whore, plain and simple. Angry Ward, you are a Viking fan, right? And Vinny is right, the Jets are simply stooges. Why did they just let him go without anything? Parcells would have gotten two number ones for him.

    17. Angry Ward Says:
      August 18th, 2009 at

      Ricky Pinetar, Super Bowls VII and XVII must have been murder on your parents’ relationship. Nick C, I am a Vikes fan. More tomorrow. I am getting good and drunk now and ready to write.

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